A Few Notes on Feminism in South Korea

It’s fall 2024 and we have returned to the asshole K drama lead. I've been watching a lot of K-dramas interchangeably, and I've noticed a recurring pattern where the male characters often grab and drag women away, usually by the wrist. It feels like they treat them as objects, not as individuals to be respected or negotiated with. I've seen guys talk to women as if they're really stupid, while also pretending to respect them. They admire these women and gaze at them longingly, but then continue saying things like, "You're so stupid," "You're so dumb," or "Why can't you see this?" "You dummy." What! Are you serious? That is not attractive at all!

I’ve been watching shows that remind me of Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha, whereby episode four, the female lead is completely engulfed by the male lead. From then on, the show revolves around him, and she just sits there, smiling and reacting to whatever he does. It turns into one of those shows where the female lead doesn’t do much after leaving her old city job and moving to a small village or town. Now, she’s just hanging out with the guy, who’s not even nice.

I think this is the part that gets on my nerves-- it bothers me when people say things like, "Korea will catch up." Catch up to what, exactly? The West? I don’t think the West should be the ultimate goal for newly developed or developing countries, aside from the money, of course.

Everyone likes money. But in the West, especially in the United States, people are coming for our wombs in really weird ways. When people say Korea will catch up, it implies that time is what changes things. But time changes nothing. The ticking of a clock, the rotating of the little hand, watching grass grow—none of it makes a difference. Time does nothing.

People often forget that in the United States, we’ve had literal waves of feminism—yes, waves. The first wave of feminism took place in the early 1900s and focused on securing women's right to vote. The second wave, in the 1960s, was inspired by the Civil Rights Movement led by Black Americans. During this wave, the goal was to allow women to leave the home and work outside of it with dignity.In the 1990s, we experienced the third wave of feminism, which was centered around fighting for equal pay for equal work. Now, we find ourselves in the fourth wave.

Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what we’re fighting for right now, but people keep telling me. I’m a bit confused, though I know a big part of it is reproductive justice. This idea that women have the right to decide what they want to do with their bodies has always been central to feminist movements in the United States. In the 1960s and '70s, the issue was letting women have access to birth control. Later, in the '90s, it became about ensuring women had the right to abortion. And now, in this fourth wave, women can’t access abortions in many places, though we’re still fighting for that right. It’s truly wild.

Meanwhile, in South Korea, women can't even openly identify as feminists because they might get attacked for something as simple as having short hair—just because someone assumes they're a feminist. They could lose their jobs, be ostracized, or treated horribly. In Korea, much like in my parents' home country of Nigeria, feminism is considered a dirty word. Feminists are seen as a threat to society because they challenge the idea that women should be subservient to men.

Many men still want women to be subservient to them—to use us for free labor, free sex, and free cooking and cleaning. In places like South Korea, women are also expected to be additional wage earners. Of course, some men don't hold these views, but strangely, when I come across them, they are often already snatched up by some women, or they are gay. I'm not sure if that's the case in South Korea, but I'd love to know.

Perhaps this is part of the reason why so many white men go there and have women crowding around them—they see them as a salvation from Korean-style patriarchy. But do these men have to contend with the white male gaze and the stereotypes of cutesy, “itsy-bitsy” Korean/East Asian girls who are expected to do their bidding? Enjoying the stereotype that they when in the competition with East Asian men’s penis size? I don't know. All I know is that white men—and some Black men too—can go to East Asia and attract amazing women because many women there are seeking a way out. In fact, it seems that a lot of people in general are trying to escape South Korea. They call it "Hell Joseon," which I think is crazy, but I'm glad that women there have realized the only way out of a bad situation is to organize. I encourage our feminist sisters in South Korea, Nigeria, and the United States to keep fighting. Your lives matter. Our lives matter